I guess it’s been a little while, hasn’t it?
All of those posts I planned to do about travelling haven’t happened, have they?
And my writing has suddenly come to a stop, hasn’t it?
Well, grab a coffee, a tea, a hot chocolate or a stiff drink and read on because i’m going to explain the reason why I have called this post, ‘up close, and maybe a little bit personal’ … wish me luck.
Truth be told, I have been battling demons in my head for a short while now – we all have those days where think we can’t get through it or it’s been one heck of a bad day or just the fact that we can’t wait to get to bed that night to forget all about it. But for me, that has been happening nearly every day since returning from my recent travels.
Travelling was an adventure of a lifetime, it was only one month that I was away but somehow I feel like it changed me. The thing is, when you’re on the road, the only details you worry about are trains getting delayed, when you’re next going to wash your desirables and when you’re going to ditch your backpack to your give back a break. You have conversations that could potentially change the World, you meet people who inspire you to do tasks you never thought you could and you realise that the little things you worry about every day are really quite insignificant… well, that was how I felt anyway.
When I returned to the UK, I was extremely happy to see my family again… seeing my inspirational mother come to a busy London airport without her head scarf reduced me to tears of happiness, seeing how much my little nephew had grown, sleeping in my own bed, being able to wear what I wanted and just being back was great… for all of about three days.
I pined to go back, to have weird and wacky conversations and to sleep without a pillow so much so, that I actually slept on my bedroom floor for a night (wasn’t quite the same but hey, I was willing to try anything!) I knew I couldn’t live the travel lifestyle forever so I tried to get a job and I tried to enjoy my life again being back home. But that didn’t work out… I couldn’t find a job that inspired me as much as travel. I tried to be the girl I was before I went on my merry way but I think that was the thing… I couldn’t find that girl, simply because she doesn’t exist anymore. Travel changed me and I came back a wiser, more independent person with different interests so I took some time and I got to know the new person that I have become, I am still learning and I think I still have a long way to go but I’ve made the first step and got a job that I really enjoy so for the rest of those feelings that I am experiencing, I am just taking it easy and not putting a massive pressure on myself because the fact that I am able to string a sentence together again makes me realise that I am on the road to recovery…
The reason I am writing this post and pretty much throwing my heart and head onto social media, is because, I want to tell you that things can get better and those feelings do go away. Sometimes, life can be pretty dark and it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel but what so many people have told me, is that nothing is permanent… you can change any situation you are in, if you’re unhappy then you can make the decision to leave, if you’re putting on weight you can start a diet and exercise, if you don’t like the colour of your room then you can paint it… but all of those little things you have to do to change what you don’t like, take a little bit of time and a lot of effort.
So, the next time you’re feeling low, like you don’t want to leave the house or you feel like these ‘bad days’ have been lasting for too long… take that little bit of time and a lot of effort. Focus on the little things that make you feel like you again, and I promise you… every little thing is gonna be alright! – (yes, I did just quote Bob Marley and heck, here is a link to the song…)
Sharing my happiness…
- My little nephew… the little man who has made me smile on my darkest days.
- My ever so supporting family, no words can even describe the love I have for you.
- My friends, the family I got to choose.
- My car, I have transformed it into a FI-W (my version of a VW) and it takes me to places when I feel the need to escape.
- Yoga, pretty much the only thing that clears my head.
- My new job… a challenge but it’s made me realise I can do it #thisgirlcan
- The number 11… maybe this is a post for another time.
So if you are reading this… I hope your days never get as dark as mine have but if they are and if they do, listen to Bob because he knows what he’s talking about!
Here’s to the last few weeks of 2017!